i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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