He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
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