I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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