You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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