and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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