So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
