We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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