I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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