that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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