i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
