Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
so let's talk penis.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
