Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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