And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You need a sexual gate keeper
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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