Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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