walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
