Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
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You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
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it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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