like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
