Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
