your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize