The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
