oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
now i know why i became what i already was.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize