I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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