he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Randomize
