I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
