Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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