One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize
