return my video game
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
