I wish I could teleport
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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