Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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