well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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