check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
