An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
