Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
