Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
