his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize