Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
