i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
