I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize
