if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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