covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
