I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
