508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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