Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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