Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
