I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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