I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
