u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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