Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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