how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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