So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
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you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
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What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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