hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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