I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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