He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
