We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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