i need an iv and a liver transplant
thus making me awesome and them whores
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
