Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
