So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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