It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
