I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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