Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
